Just another day...

I don't know what it is, but university just has me down a bit.
Completely un-motivated.
Like every day is the same as the next
Going through menial work
Menial lessons
Every day
And it's only been a week and a half.

Yes, I'm learning new things.
Menial things
Things that I can clearly see why we're learning and the applications
But for some reason things that don't capture my attention
Nor my desire to learn more.

Sure I have awesome professors
They make me laugh
They make me smile
They teach everything so well

I just don't know what it is.
I can't find motivation to do... anything with more than 50% of my effort.


*sigh*
Maybe it's just tiredness speaking through me.
Tiredness and anticipation, as if everything I'm desiring is in the future, just out of my grasp, with no idea when it'll be there
And the anticipation takes so much of my mind that I can't truly appreciate the world around me now.
...

I'm still waiting to see if I made the Uwaterloo Orchestra.
I'm still waiting for this course to get harder and more demanding
I'm still waiting for the MLP S3 release date to be announced
   (On that note, I'm also waiting for the UW group to get their act together and do something)
And it seems looking forward is giving me tunnel vision, preventing me from seeing the beauty of now.
Even though I've tried to break it. I've tried to sit and enjoy the summer (almost fall)'s day, or the taste of a sweet pastry from the C&D, but I just can't find it. All I can find are the Calc problems that need solving, and the mindless and unchallenging Linear Algebra textbook that calls me. Even the Chem isn't that hard, so my mind finds no reason to pull itself together.


I don't know. I'll keep looking for something to brighten my day up. Give me a reason to smile and live each day like the last, loving the fresh moment of now rather than longing for the rewarding moment of sometime later. But until I find that I'm just gonna be here, doing things at 50%, wondering where everything started to fall apart to reverse-engineer this downness.